Life has been crazy, irritating, frustrating… making one want to cuss, throw oneself on the floor and throw the biggest fit. Funny thing is that I know all the trials are blessings. Even right after the crap (aka blessing) happens, I still know it's a blessing. I know that many things happen in an order so that my family is taken care of. Heavenly Father does a great job preparing us for the future. However, I wish to know before hand all that is going to happen and when. Oh and how problems will be solved. I'd love to get into Heavenly Father's head so bad and just know what he is thinking.
I swear that I think... okay I KNOW, these past 3 years have been a trial. And he still continues to try me. I'm still standing! I almost wonder if it's like a spanking with a child.... child gets in trouble, parent spanks child, child says that didn't hurt and parent does or wants to hit child again until it hurts.
My home teacher knows our entire situation (which makes it better that he has also become a good friend) and had said that he admires me for how I deal with what has come our way. I laughed and told him that I'm done with being tried. He asked if I told that to Heavenly Father. I thought that was clever… tell Heavenly Father that I've taken all that I can handle. I prayed. I said. And he gave me more to be tried with. Nothing comes easy with Heavenly Father. I can say I'm doing great throughout the trial. I can put it all in Heavenly Fathers hands. BUT it's VERY hard not to want to just sit down, cry, be p.o'ed, want to give up and have a major melt down while I'm going through the trials and at the same time be a strength to my family and continue being a mother and care for the house.
Can you imagine what this entry would sound like if I wasn't taking my medication?