Life has been crazy, irritating, frustrating… making one want to cuss, throw oneself on the floor and throw the biggest fit. Funny thing is that I know all the trials are blessings. Even right after the crap (aka blessing) happens, I still know it's a blessing. I know that many things happen in an order so that my family is taken care of. Heavenly Father does a great job preparing us for the future. However, I wish to know before hand all that is going to happen and when. Oh and how problems will be solved. I'd love to get into Heavenly Father's head so bad and just know what he is thinking.
I swear that I think... okay I KNOW, these past 3 years have been a trial. And he still continues to try me. I'm still standing! I almost wonder if it's like a spanking with a child.... child gets in trouble, parent spanks child, child says that didn't hurt and parent does or wants to hit child again until it hurts.
My home teacher knows our entire situation (which makes it better that he has also become a good friend) and had said that he admires me for how I deal with what has come our way. I laughed and told him that I'm done with being tried. He asked if I told that to Heavenly Father. I thought that was clever… tell Heavenly Father that I've taken all that I can handle. I prayed. I said. And he gave me more to be tried with. Nothing comes easy with Heavenly Father. I can say I'm doing great throughout the trial. I can put it all in Heavenly Fathers hands. BUT it's VERY hard not to want to just sit down, cry, be p.o'ed, want to give up and have a major melt down while I'm going through the trials and at the same time be a strength to my family and continue being a mother and care for the house.
Can you imagine what this entry would sound like if I wasn't taking my medication?
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4 comments:
WE LOVE YOU SARAH!!!!!
You are to funny! I especially love the part about the medication. Hang in there! You are so strong! If you were drinking Pepsi right now, I would bring you one. Please call me if you need anything!
Dear Princess, I’m watching you grow thousands of miles away and wish I could just hold you and make it all better, but that would take blessings away from you. I know you know this is good for you, and I know you understand why, to shape, to build, to mold, and to purify… Strong relationships are built as we struggle together, as husband and wife, and as a team of three, Father in Heaven, Husband and wife. It’s times as these that true character shows forth, patience, endurance, faith, and trust… and it’s only frustrating when we trust in the arm of flesh. There’s no such thing as controlling one’s life… all opportunities, all blessings, come from Him above, none are from our own doing. Paul said ‘persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution, 2 Tim 2:11-12… I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith, 2 Tim 3:7.’
Sarah, once you turn ‘all’ your trials over to the Lord, through prayer, just like your home teacher suggested, the weight of the world will melt off your shoulders and you’ll feel free… Not free from trials, not free from pain, but free of worry, free of concern, and free of fearing about losing control.
This isn’t an Epistle, those go on for another 10 pages.
I love you my dear princess! If there’s anything that I can do, please let me know.
Oh Sarah, I love you. Love, love, love you. I know how you feel. I really do. It's SO hard. The Lord knows your strengths too or he wouldn't give you the trials. The medication? That's awesome. I'm still laughing. And your mom (or dad's) comment is perfect.
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